Too cold for comfort
by Firegirl99
Summary: So..., here's another one of my failed English asseys I wrote as homework. It's meant to be a comedy about a Christmas wish gone wrong, tell me what you think. There is also a note for anyone reading 'Clove and Cato love at first kiss' at the top. ENJOY! :D


**AN: Hey everyone! So, as you may well know (or you may not know) I have a bit of a habbit of uploading failed English asseys. Well, here's another one! Hope you like it. BTW to anyone who's reading my story Clove and Cato love at first kiss? I am SUPER sorry! I have PM'd everyone who I could about my laptop but obviously I couldn't get in touch with everyone. My laptop got bricked (is as useful as a brick) and I have lost all my files. I worte the next chapter for the story months ago and I really liked it but I can't remember how it goes. Oops! I will try to recover the files ASAP but it's a bit more complicated than it sounds. SORRY! Anyways, hope you enjoy this story and sorry if it sucks! :D**

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_Too cold for comfort _

So, here I am. New Year's Day. One week after Christmas. I'm feeling incredibly confused this year you see these past few weeks have been both the best and worst of my existence. Now, as the end of Christmas dawns on me I can't help but think back and wonder. Here, why don't I tell you what happened and you can help me figure it out:

It was December 7th and England had just had its very first real snowfall of the year. I was playing with the children in the field when it all started. Their mum called them over telling them it was time to go Christmas shopping, I suddenly felt a huge weight being dumped onto me and it wasn't just because of the snow filled hat I had on. Every year I have one day of happiness, then I'm left alone with the sun and everything flows away. I don't see why this has to happen I mean with all the new technology there is, why haven't they invented a cold box to keep me frozen yet? I would call it a…super-freeze-anator-box-freeze-thousand. £99.99p Postal price not included. What do you think? Nobel prize worthy or am I going to have to settle for a WIPO? Anyway, this year I wanted a change, a chance to have my own Christmas. I wanted a present.

I've heard of this 'Santa Claus' many times on my travels: Father Christmas, Père Noël, St. Nicolas or Nick to his friends. Apparently he flies around the world in his sleigh and gives all the good children presents. I count as a child, right? I begged and begged, pleaded and pleaded. In fact I was so busy begging and pleading that I was completely unaware of the cold white thing soaring through the air towards me. Then it hit me. Literally. I was almost knocked over by the force of it. To be honest after 3 hours of this I was getting quite annoyed. Especially since I had to endure the torturous fact that I was incapable of reaching a spot where a particularly icy snowball had hit me. In other words I needed to scratch my nose and couldn't. On the plus side I had grown about 6inches because of the fight and since the kids were going home I could finally finish telling Santa what I wanted for Christmas.

Over the following weeks there was nothing else I rather be doing everyday than praying and pleading that Santa would grant me my wish and bring me a present. Then on the 22nd December it snowed again. The schools were closed and the children came out to play. They made me a friend. Salle the snow-dog they called her. She was gorgeous and I even wondered if she could be my gift but then I realized it was too early. Still, I was grateful to the children for making her. When they all went to bed we would have a chance to talk for hours on end. Typically the very first thing I said to her – apart from hello- was about my present. She thought it was a stupid idea that I should even get my hopes up.

"Ah" I said in an all knowing voice "but I have a cunning plan you see, it's the most cunning plan since the fox asked the chicken over for dinner…I never read the end of that story, did it go well?"

"Not for the chicken" she replied bluntly

"Well, thanks for bursting my bubble" that was the last time we spoke for 2 days.

2 days later 

I was so excited! Only one more sleep until Santa came! I'd been busy watching through the window at the TV and apparently if you're awake on Christmas Eve when Santa comes you won't get anything but if your tucked up in bed and you've been good all year round then he'll give you what you asked for. This worried me a bit, you see being a snowman I don't actually have a bed so it'd be rather hard for me to get tucked up in own without rising some questions from the owner. To be fair if you woke up and there was a big fat snowman lying in your bed snoring away next to you what would your first reaction be? Baseball bat? Frying pan? Or my personal favourite fear…the hairdryer? I spent the day pondering this idea until it finally came to me!

"BINGO!" I shouted out.

"I didn't know we were playing" Salle oh – so- smugly replied.

"No. Um, ah, shut up!" I rolled away down the hill and when I landed I was completely covered in Snow (not that I wasn't before but you know what I mean) there. A home made bed is as good as any.

Christmas morning

I must have woken u at least 3 times during the night and must have acquired at least 4 king sized beds as I tumbelled down the hill every time I woke up. The excitement of the morning was certainly giving me a few burses. Finally the sun stood up above the horizon and I was able to rummage around. I found a little parcel addressed to me. Guess what I got, you'll never guess, I was guessing for weeks and I didn't guess it right, are you sure you don't want to venture a guess? Fiiiinnnneeee! I'll tell you. I got a…come on just guess! No? Your loss. I got a piece of coal. Wasn't too happy about it. I was straight down to the post office to write a formal complaint to the North Pole. Obviously it wasn't open, then later that week I just got the letter back with a sticker on it saying _No-one lives here please return to sender _I didn't know Santa was allowed to move house! What will all the children say when they send their lists to him next year? Although it was very kind of his grotto to send me my letter back to me.

So what do you think? Was it a good Christmas or a bad one? I don't really have much experience in the matter so I suppose I'll just have to wait. Hello? Are you going to tell me your opinion or not? Did you even hear what I was saying? I'll tell you again and this time tries to listen. So, here I am, New Year's Day. One week after Christmas…

**The End.**

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**AN: So, yeah. Sorry if it was really bad but I'm not very good at comedy. Please review but no mean ones please coz it's CHRISTMAS! :D Thanks for reading,. **

**HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! Hope you have a great time! **

**Bye! :D x**


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